Do you ever wonder if it is a good idea for your kids to share a room? Or you don’t have a choice in your living situation to give them separate room? Maybe you always knew your kids would share a room no matter what because that is how you grew up.
I currently fall into the category of not having a choice about my living situation. It has been this way since my one year old was born. My husband, our two kids, and I currently live in the upstairs portion of my parents’ house, so we only had one room besides ours for our kids to sleep. We have been here for two years and will be moving soon to our own place. 🙂 YIPPIE!! This has been the longest temporary situation I have been in but I have been thankful for it.
When we moved in it was just us and our daughter, who was about to turn two. So, it wasn’t that big of a deal, we had enough space for the time being. Well, when I became pregnant with our son it was one of those ‘well we don’t have much choice’ type of situations. We talked to our daughter about it before he was born to make sure she understood that her baby brother would be in that same room with her.
She was excited the closer it got to him being born.
Even the day I brought him home she was ready to show him their room and his bed.
I thought ‘hey, this is great, she’s loving it’. Wouldn’t you be excited the oldest didn’t say something in regards to ‘take him back’ like I hear other parents talk about?
Well over the past year it has definitely been some ups and downs to this whole room sharing thing. Growing up I never had to share my room with anyone so I never knew what it could be like to share a room. Except for those occasional sleep overs when I was older but I assume it is nothing like that at all.
I put together some of our pros and cons about kids sharing a room so you can get an idea of how it works for us. I will say my pros and cons with be different than some because this is our daughter (older) and son (younger) sharing instead of two boys or two girls.
Learning to play with each other
This has been a work in progress but I must say, it wouldn’t be at the point now with them sharing if it wasn’t for them being in the same room. At first my daughter was the in the whole ‘mine’ stage when he was taking toys of hers, now she will give him toys in his crib when he wakes up. She even asks if he can stay in there and play with her when he wakes up from naps.
They become friends a lot easier from the start
These two kids are honestly two peas in a pod! When I lay him down in his crib at night he always looks over at her bed to see if she is in there yet. If she notices he isn’t in there when she lays down at night, then she is wondering where he is and why he isn’t in his bed yet. They love playing with each other all day and sometimes I must remind her that he is not a doll. 🙂
Feeling of security and comfort in their room
Our daughter was a big co sleeper and that just worked for our situation until she got older and bigger. Queen size bed plus three people is a no go! We started moving her to her own room about 6 months into my pregnancy and it was torture! I was getting too big to have her in our bed and she couldn’t stand to be in her own bed without touching one if not both of us. Eventually it got better, and now with her brother being in her room, she knows she has someone in there and they can ‘watch over’ each other at night. Don’t get me wrong, she still has her nights that she sneaks in our room but it is far and few between than it was before he was born.
Learn to share
It always seems like this is the hardest for most kids, and that is understandable. I struggle with this at 25! I hate sharing my personal things when they mean a lot to me so I understand when she doesn’t want to share her things. We all get to know our kids and their own little ways so, I know which toys are just HERS and no one else’s, which means, I do not make her share those with anyone. I don’t agree with making her share EVERYTHING. Do you share ALL your possessions with others? With their toys, the ones that are just whatever to them, I do encourage sharing. Over time I have noticed that sharing is almost second nature to them and half the time my son who is only one will give you something if you just ask.
Wake each other up
This is the biggest thing con in my book. It mostly goes off me or my daughter waking him up because he goes to bed before her. I will go in to tuck her in and in return he sometimes wakes up. Sometimes he goes right back to sleep but other times he wakes up and cries, then I either have to get him or just let him cry it out. Depends on how he is feeling for sure. She mostly can sleep through anything so this isn’t a big one for her as it is for him.
No privacy as they grow older (boy/ girl)
I have not quite gotten to the point of my kids needing privacy per say yet but, we will one day and it will come sooner than later. This is one of my cons, even though is technically in the future, because I know how important it is to have privacy for changing or just having your own time. With me having a boy and a girl sharing a room their privacy needs will be different and not something they can relate on. By this time, they will have separate rooms so they won’t have those awkward moments.
One kid naps and the other wants to play
It never fails, every time it is nap time for my son, my daughter wants to go and play with her toys or just go in the room and watch her TV, or just something. We have toys in other places in the house but, it’s always the ones in her room she wants at that particular time. It’s hard to tell my kid they can’t go in their own room because their brother is sleeping. 🙁 I feel like I am contradicting myself at times and it just seems odd, but my baby needs sleep! Unless I make it to where there are no toys in their room at all then there isn’t much way around this. I think it just becomes more of a not fair thing even though she has other options around the house for entertainment.
I have more pros than cons when it comes to kids sharing a room because I really feel like this is beneficial for their growth as young children leaning. It puts my kids in a great environment to learn from each other and to learn boundaries.
It doesn’t work for everyone and I understand that also, but every family is different. The living situations may change one day but for now this is the hand that has been given to us and we will make the best of it.
Do your kids share a room with each other? How does it work for yawl?